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  • Clean Jokes

    Larry, I really need your advice on a serious problem:

    I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

    Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

    It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.

    Is that something I can repair with a weld or do I need to replace it?
    Current ride... KTM 350 exc-f 2015

    yz 8oj 82it 250 k 83 it200 s 86 cr250rg 86
    cr250rh 87 rm250 94 kx250 96 ktm 450 exc 03-06-and a 10 sigpic
    My Dream VE

  • #2
    My best mate ran away with my wife ... and I really miss him

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    • #3

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      • #4
        A Nun a Rabbi and a Vicar walk into a bar....



        they look around....



        Then they leave saying to the barman, "sorry we appear to be in the wrong joke.
        If it doesn't use fossil fuels then it's not a toy worth having.

        Maico will rise again! !psm

        The Chiko Roll - Health food of a nation.

        Comment


        • #5
          what did yasi say to the coconut tree

          hold onto your nuts this is going to be one hell of a blow job

          that one started doing the rounds up here last night as cyclone was approaching
          SHOTS

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Mobec View Post
            Larry, I really need your advice on a serious problem:

            I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

            Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

            It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.

            Is that something I can repair with a weld or do I need to replace it?



            nice
            The thing about this particular signature is by the time you realise it doesn't say anything it,s too late to stop reading it

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            • #7
              There was this duck standing on the road side looking to cross, a chicken walks up briskly and says "don't do it man you will be hearing about it for ever"
              DBW # 640
              Husaberg FE450

              Comment


              • #8
                Q. What do you call a blind dinosaur
                A. Idontthinkhesawus

                Comment


                • #9
                  Marrage is like a deck of cards.

                  To start all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond.

                  After a few years you wish you had a club and a spade.
                  Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks I'm a prick

                  R.I.P Ronnie Neill 2/12/62 - 31/1/09

                  "Lifes short, ride lots"
                  Current Bikes
                  2011 Triumph Tiger 800 XC, 2004 Honda XR650R, 2013 KTM 300 EXC, 2012 Sherco 250 Trials, 2003 Postie,
                  Past Bikes
                  DRZ 400 E, KTM 950 ADV, DR650, XR600, XR500 X 2, WR250F, Suzi RM125S, Suzi RM400, 77 RM250B, Yam TY250, Honda TL250, Honda TL125, Beta 250,Yam RT1 360 about 3, Yam DT125A, Jawa 500 Speedway, Yam IT175, Honda QA50, Suzuki PE 250 T, Honda 400 4 (roadie), Plus a few I've forgotten, or would rather forget!

                  Originally posted by Valleyam
                  In fact I think if it wasn't for the guys that were faster than us we would have won.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Kipo View Post
                    Marrage is like a deck of cards.

                    To start all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond.

                    After a few years you wish you had a club and a spade.
                    It also involves 3 rings
                    Engagement ring
                    Wedding ring
                    Suffe ring

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      what do you call a donkey with only 3 legs???



                      A wonkey..
                      yz250 smoka
                      kx 250 82

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by yamahahatim View Post
                        what do you call a donkey with only 3 legs???



                        A wonkey..
                        Haha. TonyH likes that one
                        "I know I was born. And I know that I'll die.


                        The in between is mine"


                        ~Eddie Vedder

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Deaf wife ???

                          A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

                          Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.

                          The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

                          Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.

                          If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a
                          response."

                          That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

                          Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

                          No response..

                          So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

                          Still no response.

                          Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

                          Again no response.

                          So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.. "Honey, whats for dinner?"


                          Again there is no response.


                          So he walks right up behind her... "Honey, whatsfor dinner?"


                          (I just love this)






















                          "Ralph, for THE FIFTH @@@@@@@ TIME.......CHICKEN!"
                          Current
                          2017 Beta350 Racing

                          Previous
                          2016 KTM200, 14 KTM450excf, 13 KTM350excf, 11 Beta RR450FE ;11 KTM530exc, 11 GasGas 300 Nambotin Edition, 11 KTM350sxf, 09 KTM150exc, 09 Husaberg FE570, 09 Husky TE310, 08 KTM300exc, 07 ISDE KTM250excf, 07 KTM525exc, 06 KTM250sxf, 05 KTM250exc, 04 KTM450exc, 00 KTM300exc, 99 KTM200exc, 98 KTM125exc, 97 KTM250exc, 96 KDX200, 95 KDX200, 94 Yamaha WR250, 93 Yamaha WR250 & Wr200, 92 Yamaha WR250 & WR200, 91 Yamaha WR200, 90 Yamaha DT200, 88 KTM380exc, 87 KDX200, 86 KDX200(with KX125 Frame), 83 XR200, 82 XR200, 74 DT175
                          ^roost
                          Single Track = 60cm wide, NOT 2 metre.

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                          • #14
                            Q: Why are pirates, pirates?

                            A: Because they arrrrrgh!
                            "I know I was born. And I know that I'll die.


                            The in between is mine"


                            ~Eddie Vedder

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Why is a marriage like a cyclone?


                              It starts with a blow job and ends up costing you your house.
                              If it doesn't use fossil fuels then it's not a toy worth having.

                              Maico will rise again! !psm

                              The Chiko Roll - Health food of a nation.

                              Comment

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